My verry first english short work…with grammar problems but the first after all :D

February 8, 2010 at 6:35 pm (Short works)

I had a friend…

It rains…it rains a lot inside me. I thought that if I will stop cryng and wyning I’ll be okay…better than I was before.I never understood human nature I can bet my life that I never will. I had to go throu a few problems of my own to realize this.

I fealt weak and vulnerable long time after I stoped talking to you…aww right, sorry, long time after you stoped talking to me.

We had so mutch in common, so mutch that I used to think you were an exception from the rule and God, how wrong was i.However I dident want to admit my wrong, I moved on trusting you, hopping that you are not like the rest, I fealt so happy every time you sayed that we were friends that I cant realize if I was realy beliving you or did I needed for some reason to belive that.

You gott you’re sealf a girlfiend like it was someting you could buy from the store, and it was okay and normal in the same time.You needed to do that so I finaly realize that you were more than a friend to me…and it hurt me more than I thought it will.

We started talking less day after day until we stoped talking at all …because I stoped reaching for you.It’s been already one year since we haven’t spoken or seen eachother in any way.

I like to belive I’m over you, but somehow I know I’m not and I’m afraid of the moment that I’ll have to see you again because I know that seeng you will make me act foolish and childish and I’ll become in you’re eyes what I don’t want to become.

Sometimes I dream…I heard once a person asking what do dreams taste like, and I answered that it depends of what you dream.She toled me its not okay to dream cause most of them don’t come true.Ofcourse I replyed, I sayed that it was fals that it depends on the kind of dream that you have and that you should do anything to reach you’re dream, that a person without any dream at all it’s a dead person.Dreams are the reason we get up our bed in the morning, our reason to live, to go on throu this massed up world.

Dreams mean everything…

Suddenly I had a revelation…once I dreamed that you might get to love me and you failed me, you disappeared from my life like you never been in it, like a shadow that sees her sealf in the mirror and dosent see anything, in the same way you crossed my life and you dident see anything in me, nothing that might made you stay.

But it doesen’t matter…not all dreams come true and if you haven’t been able to decode my mind or see true my chest I’ll be waiting, no not waiting living my life and ,, writing’’ my own historie forward without you until I will find somebody able to change it from head to tail.

In this life they say we are all passing throu like tourists but I don’t need someone who one day  will pass by me on the street and not even say hello, I need somebody to pass this life with me, beside me.

I have the bad habbit of wanting it all but all is not realy what I’m asking for.I want somebody’s entire love just for me and not less than forever.If only a vampire could love forever than I hope the nature or the fiction will give me one. But what I realy wish for is a person human enough to be the vampire who might love me forever.

The last thing I feel the need to say is that…I had a friend, I realy cared about, than I wished for us to be more but it dident worked, I had a friend long time ago and I cant wait to see him again and ask him if his okay althou I might look foolish and childish in his eyes and he will never feel anything for me the way I did.

In the meantime I am writing my life down and I am waiting for the love of my life…

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